One of Ava's books about nursing (Breastmilk Makes My Tummy Yummy) contains a picture of a mom nursing a toddler and a baby and states: "Two can breastfeed without fuss, there is room for both of us." On Wednesday night, we - me, Julian and Ava - experienced that for the first time.

Jody had to work an unusually long day yesterday and wasn't planning on getting home until after 8 p.m. Since I knew Ava was really tired I decided to try to put her to sleep while Julian slept in the swing. Seems easy enought, right? Well, wouldn't you know it, just as I got Ava undressed, Julian woke up crying. So much for easy. I brought him in the bedroom with us, hurriedly put Ava in her PJs, washed her face and hands (we skipped brushing teeth) and we all laid down on Ava's twin bed (it was cozy) so that I could nurse Julian and hopefully, get Ava to sleep. She thought it was quite fun that we were all laying on her bed together. When I asked her if she wanted "na-na" (to nurse) with Julian, the giggles started. It took a bit of acrobatics on Ava's part to nurse since I had Julian in the side-lying position, but she/we managed it. She giggled a lot as she nursed and thought the whole thing was quite funny, and I started laughing a few times too appreciating the comedic value of the scene. After the giggles subsided, she stroked Julian's cheek and then held his hand as they both nursed, and it was a very sweet moment. Then the giggles started back up again. ;)

It was all going quite well (other than being a bit uncomfortable for me), when Ava remembered that we hadn't read any books yet - something that daddy generally does as part of her nighttime routine. Since Julian was asleep at that point, Ava and I got some books, turned on the closet light and read in the little hallway by the closet while we sat on the floor. She thought that was pretty fun too. ;) Then Julian woke up so I brought him to our storytime on the floor as well.

It was about that time that daddy got home, so he came in and proceeded to brush Ava's teeth, then took Julian downstairs so I could finish putting Ava to bed. She had a bit more na-na though not without first saying she wanted to do it with Julian again. Aww. I explained to her that it was a special occasion that she had na-na with Julian because daddy wasn't home yet. She seemed OK with that, had her na-na, rolled over and drifted off to sleep.

We were on our way back from the International Day of the Midwife Celebrations in Raleigh and I decided to risk nursing him on the bus because he was tired and hot and we had an hour car ride ahead of us to get back home. We were bouncing along when suddenly he bit down as hard as he could. Blood squirted everywhere and I did my best not to scream. I pushed his face against my chest to get him to let go and he did, after about 30 seconds. He pulled off marvelously happy with himself that he had bitten me so thoroughly! I quickly grabbed some wipes from the diaper bag, packed them in my bra and put things away. When we got home it was off the doctor for 3 stitches--ouch! Little teeth can sure make some big holes!

In order to let the injury heal I had to pump on that side for 7 days. My little man proceeded to try and bite every time my other breast was presented so we switched to bottles. I was distraught! I only had a manual pump, I didn't want to wean him, he missed the closeness of breast feeding and I am WAY too lazy to bottle feed!! After calling my LLL leaders and searching the internet and deciding this was just a nursing strike I proceeded the long journey of getting him back on the breast.

It started at midnight. I would sneak into his room, pick him up out of his crib and slip him on the breast. He nursed away--no biting--no waking up. I then snuck in again at 5:45 (a good 30 minutes before my little man typically woke up) and nursed him again. He would usually wake up sucking my breast and go ahead and finish without biting. After 3 or 4 days of doing this successfully I moved in on the morning nap. I snuck in about 30 minutes before he normally woke up from his nap and nursed him awake again. After 4 days of this I moved in on the afternoon nap. Finally, after a long 11 days, I braved a daytime nursing. The JAWS theme was playing in my head as I settled into our nursing chair. I tried to be as relaxed as I could and we succeeded!! My little man started nursing again full time!! No more bottles-no more pumps!

The year was 1988 and I was 22 years old. I was just a babe in the woods with no childcare experience, the first of my circle of friends to have a baby. It was my plan to breastfeed for the altruistic reason that we had very little money and I wanted to save the cost of formula so we could pay our rent. My knowledge about breastfeeding was almost nothing. I had to skip my prenatal classes due to bed rest. There was no Internet for online breast feeding support. I did not even know that the La Leche League existed. I figured breastfeeding was natural and would come to me by osmosis when I had the baby.

The big day arrived and I delivered my daughter. While in the hospital no one gave me any serious help with breastfeeding. Lactation Consultants were not part of the nursing staff in 1988. I was not encouraged to put the baby to my breast until several hours after birth. I just sat and stared at my sweet little girl oblivious that I should let her suck my breasts when they felt empty and useless.

It seemed the trend at this hospital was to give nursing babies bottles of glucose water, so we happily complied. I brought home several extra bottles of water and waited for my milk to come in. That first night home was horrific. The angelic little babe who had barely peeped in the hospital awoke with a fury that no glucose water bottle could dissipate. I was exhausted and sore with inverted nipples that made for poor latching. My baby was hungry and cranky. My poor husband spent that whole night awake walking the baby and I spent it crying because I did not know what to do. In the morning I frantically called my mother and asked her to come. I was desperate and afraid I would starve my sweet child.

My wonderful mom called in sick to work and came right over. She was a product of the 50’s and 60’s when Mom’s were discouraged from breastfeeding and had no advice to offer except to suggest we try formula. If I had any idea how to use formula or some available in the house I’m certain that would have been the end of my breastfeeding experience. However; I was as clueless about formula as I was about nursing. As a last resort my Mom called my sister in law, the only person either of us knew who had breastfed.

Good bless my SIL. We were not particularly close at the time and she was significantly older than me but she packed up her kids and made the trip over to visit. I don’t think her comments were exceptionally earth shaking but they were just what I needed. She calmed me down and said, “It will get easier.” “Keep putting the baby on the breast to suck, she is getting something.” “Your milk will come in eventually, don’t give up.” “The soreness will go away.” It got me through those first days home. My milk did come in and soon I was overflowing. The baby learned to latch on and suck well with practice. It was only a short time later that breastfeeding went from impossible to enjoyable. I continued on to nurse my daughter for 20 months and have nursed four more children over the past 20 years.

I credit my transformation from a crying frustrated new mom to a confident nursing mama to one person taking the time to share her breastfeeding experience. I hope that along the way I can do the same for some other new mother who is struggling. Breastfeeding is not always easy but it is definitely rewarding.

When my first son was born I was a little bit braver,but not much. I would go out but if he got hungry I would hide. I would find a back bedroom or a fitting room or feed him in the car. I hated it because it made me fell dirty, like I was doing something wrong. The worst was one day at Wal-Mart when I walked up to the fitting room and asked the clerk if I could use a room to nurse my baby and she said ,"No, you have to use the bathroom for/ that/." and gave me a disgusted look. So I went to the bathroom sat down in a dirty toilet and cried while I fed my baby.

I was surrounded by well-meaning friends and family that told me that I needed help with the baby, to go out and have a date with my hubby, to go run errands, to go...go...go...somewhere, anywhere, but near my newborn. They thought they were being nice. I felt pressure to leave the baby and I was miserable. I would pump and leave a bottle, but really I just wanted to be with my baby. I wish that I had the confidence then to follow my gut feelings about things, like I do now. They, nor I, realized that not being with the baby was really messing up my milk supply. I was engorged, got mastitis, thrush, etc... By the time Zoe was 12 weeks old, I thought I should have been in less pain. Things should have been better by then. I just couldn't bare it anymore. I finally decided to wean her. I was devastated on the inside. I felt like a failure. I went about my way being a formula feeding mother for the rest of her first year.

When I became pregnant with my 2nd child, 15 mos. later, I had heard a little more about LLL meetings. I was determined to be successful at breastfeeding this time around. Successful to me, meant meeting that goal of nursing for 12 mos. When I was 7 mos. pregnant I started attending meetings. The meetings were so wonderful! I received so much helpful information, support, and phone numbers to call for help once the baby arrived. One of the LLL Leaders was also a Doula and was present with me for my birth.

The first few months of Xander's life were rough. We had a terrible time with Thrush, had a few plugged ducts. and he was a fussy baby. But, my LLL Leaders were just a phone call away. I thought that they would get sick of me calling! I attended every meeting that they had. This time around my experience was so much better! I know it was because of the support I received from LLL. When Xander was almost 1 year old, I started my training to become a LLL Leader. I was stronger this time around. I was more confident in my mothering. Xander nursed until he was 25 mos. old. I was so proud of myself!